Christmas is just days away and if you’re like me, you’re in serious planning/stressing/working mode and the internal tension is starting to build.
Will I be able to finish all the decorating in time for my party?
Will Uncle Joe start telling off color jokes again at Christmas dinner?
Will I have time to make my famous cookies that everyone loves?
Sooooo much going on right now, right?
Here are three tips to help you have the best Christmas ever:
Relationships: Let it go
The very best thing you can do to deal with family and relational issues is to not bring last years trash to this years festivities. Did someone offend you last year? Leave it in the past. Was someone rude, late, obnoxious, insulting, impatient or ungrateful? Leave it in the past. Don’t bring it (those hurt feelings and bad memories) to this years party. Is that easier said than done? Well, yeah, but it doesn’t make it any less effective. You have a choice here, don’t forget that. You can choose to hold on to resentment and bitterness or you can choose to forgive, wipe that slate clean and start fresh, to have a great holiday.
Perfectionism: Release it
We all have ideas in our heads on what would make the holidays PERFECT. If you’re like me you may struggle with wanting things to be a certain way and people to act a certain way, etc.. (Maybe you just want them to act like adults, that’s not too much to ask, is it?) This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I know its popular to rag on perfectionists but the fact is- we need people with high standards in our world, we need goal setters and achievers. The question becomes, what lengths are we willing to go to, to achieve this illusive “perfection” and how do we respond when it is not achieved? Total transparency- I have struggled many times with not responding well. I want to get it ALL done and I want it ALL to be perfect! And in years past I have made myself sick with trying to DO IT ALL. And I have gotten upset with those who have messed up my plans.
Somewhere around 2010 I said, enough is enough. No more striving, no more doing things I don’t want to do, just to please others and no more killing myself to achieve my crazy standard of perfection. It’s been a process (I’m still working on it) but I can tell you, this has made the BIGGEST positive impact on my Christmas season. I have more joy in my heart when I’m not pursuing something that in truth, can never be achieved. I would encourage you to consider dropping your high expectations of yourself, your family and your home decor this Christmas and embracing the ‘imperfections of reality’ for a happier holiday.
Focus: What is important?
We read and hear this all the time, right? Remember the “reason for the season” etc. We KNOW what’s MOST important is the birth of Christ and spending time with family during the holidays but something happens… somehow our focus gets… off. We start striving to be admired for our cooking, our decorating, our Christmas card photo, our outfits, our perfect house, our gifts, our instagram photos, our blah, blah, blah and the “reason for the season” gets pushed down to 4th or 5th place (if it’s even on the chart). So how do we get back on track? How do we make this right? Does something terrible have to happen to a family member for us to recalibrate and remember whats REALLY important? Dear God, I hope not. But that will definitely do the trick. Somehow, when we have a near fatal car accident or we lose track of a child in a store for 10 seconds that everything that’s important rises to the top and all the other stuff fades away with lightening speed. Remember, you are the pace setter in your home, you determine what is important and what is trivial. You can choose to focus on family time over all the distractions of the season. Also, remember the little ones are watching, be the person you want them to grow up to be. Focus on what you want THEM to focus on.
Remembering what’s important this season and letting go of bitterness and perfection will help you have the best Christmas ever. I promise!!
Blessings to you and yours,