As a textbook introvert, I spend a good deal of time, introvert-ing. Lol
Over the past few years I challenged myself on my definition of success. I don’t believe there is one definition for success and I definitely don’t believe it’s the definition that society has given it: Mansions, fast cars, yachts, designer watches/shoes/handbags and money to burn.
Success, by definition is: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
So I first had to define what success looked like to me.
Was it stuff? Was it a big bank account?
What did I really want in life?
The more time I spent on that thought, the more I was able to whittle down through all the things that I was supposed to want, to what I truly wanted.
I discovered that my needs and wants are pretty simple, and there is a lot of freedom in knowing what I really want.
I tell you all of this because some of the first questions I ask people who want help with a room or their entire home, are: how do you want to feel in this room? And how do you want to use this space?
By and large, most people are approaching home decorating from the wrong angle. They want to buy what’s popular, stick it all together and hope that it works for them. Not considering their individual needs.
We first have to know what we want before we can achieve it!
If you want the room to feel formal and dignified? That will inform your choices in a rug, furnishings and textiles (curtains/pillows/throws).
If you want the room to feel relaxed and welcoming? That will inform the type of couch you buy and even the type of fabric on the couch. You will likely want more texture, greenery and less structure.
No other choices should be made in the room until you have first figured out the answers to these questions.
I completely understand that most of you reading this are not starting at zero with an empty room. But if you are unhappy with a particular room in your home, trying starting with those questions:
1. How do I want to feel in this room?
2. What do I want to use this space for?
The more detail you go into your answers, the better you will understand that some things in the room may not be serving you or the purpose of the space.
Maybe it’s clutter that has to go?
Maybe the room needs a new coat of paint?
Maybe the space just needs a few pillows in your favorite colors?
If you work long hours (in or out of the the home) and at the end of the day you just want a room that helps you relax and unwind, your idea and my idea of that very same description will be different. Because we’re different.
Our homes should meet our needs, not everyone else’s standards of what ‘nicely decorated’ is. Not your Mom’s standards, not your sister in law’s standards, not your neighbors standards. Your needs are what matter in your home.
So, again, if you’re unhappy with a room, I encourage you to take some time to pour over those two questions.
You can not succeed (achieve what you want) in a room if you don’t know what you really want, and you cannot know what you really want if you will not take the time to figure that out.
These two questions are home design 101. I won’t go any further with a client if they cannot answer these questions.
Why? Because they don’t know what they want. And if a person doesn’t know what they want, nothing will ever satisfy them. It’s a never ending quest.
I’m currently working through this in my (basement) office, asking myself the very same questions. I’m frustrated with it, so I know, if I want relief from this frustration, I need at start at the beginning again and look at what is no longer serving me. I spend way too much time here to not love it and be inspired by it.
If you have more questions about this, I hope you know, I’m here to help. :-)
Blessings on your home,
P.S. I’m planning on hosting a workshop in May to help you discover your home color story, so stay tuned for more details on that!